If Only for a Moment (a poem of healing)

They didn’t tell me you had a beating heart; they told me you were a mass of tissue.

They didn’t tell me I would cry for you 24-years later, they told me it was nothing-you were nothing.

The room was cold-so-so cold.

Just relax, they said, there’s nothing to it.

Staring in silence-screaming inside with no place to hide, nowhere to run.

Relax I say, soon you will be out having fun. Life went on-for me that is.

Would it matter if I told you your father and I married?

Is that any consolation? How many pregnancies, how many live births?

The question stings, I wonder if acid would soothe the burn.

Then one day I heard your sister’s heartbeat for the very first time;

You were just her age when yours beat for the very last time.

What have I done? In an instant, you were real.

Would it make a difference if I told you I mourn for you still?

My Lord is gracious, forgiving and kind He took you in His arms when I chose not to hold you in mine.

One hope I hold dear to my heart; that my Lord Jesus would grant me one wish-one delight.

To hold you in my arms if only for a moment and feel the love of both of you.